How do I know if this is unhealthy?

I’ve recently noticed some changes in my partners behaviours towards me and I’m not sure if I should be concerned about them. One thing I’ve seen him start to do is stalk my social media. How do I know if this is unhealthy?

How social media impacts relationships can be both exciting and tricky, learning more about boundaries can hep identify what you are and are not okay with.

Deciding whether your partner’s behaviours are healthy or unhealthy is not always easy. In certain situations, behaviours might be okay. However, if the behaviour turns excessive, the behaviour might become problematic. Have a look at our ‘Healthy Relationships’ tip sheet as a tool to determine what behaviours are healthy and unhealthy in relationships . Your partner looking at your social media from time to time when you post something is an okay behaviour. However, if your partner is constantly looking at your social media, checking to see who liked your photo or who you are friends with, this becomes an unhealthy controlling behaviour and is a form of emotional abuse.

These behaviours can sometimes be warning signs of potential increased abuse later in the relationship. These behaviours can be more subtle in nature such as stalking your social media, wanting to know where you are all the time or saying negative things about your friends and family. Take a look at pages 4 and 5 of our safety plan kit that describes warning signs in relationships . Kids Help Line also have some useful information around what abuse is to help consider if the behaviours you are seeing in your relationship are unhealthy .

You can also talk to a trusted adult about your relationship such as a teacher, parent, counsellor or other professionals. Getting someone else’s perspective who is outside the relationship can be beneficial and removes the secrecy around the behaviours. Have a look at our useful links tab on our website for support options .


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The contribution of Aboriginal Australians has shaped our knowledge of the country and our identity. All Australians benefit from the generosity of Aboriginal people sharing their Country and their culture.

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